Officer Bob

LOS ANGELES – The way I figure it, it can’t be that surprising to new arrivals to this country the way things work: the cops own the streets, the parks and everything under the sun, and the people own the right to get the hell out of the cops’ way when the cop says so. Easy. Sure, sometimes we gotta use a helicopter to get our point across, but that’s the US of A for ya: a big production of a simple story.

The artist’s name is Shephard Fairey, also known as OBEY. Goddamn right you better obey. I’m gonna order up fifty of these and wallpaper up the rumpus room wit’ ‘em.

DEVNER – Don’t let it be said that the Republical convention in Minneapolis got all the good policin’ – we did a pretty decent job herding the hippies in Denver too. In this clip, check out how we handle “free speech” the exact same way the Marlboro man and his cowpoke buddies handle a herd of cattle. Then again , the comparison is an insult to cattle: you can’t make delicious hamburgers out of useless hippies. Move ‘em out!

INDEPENDENCE, MO – Look, we cops have had enough of you smart guys and your reading skills. Everybody knows that the procedures for complaining about the local police are only published so we can say they’re published. It’s not like we’re gonna follow ‘em. As if!

If you got a beef with the local PD, and the local PD isn’t tripping over themselves getting you the forms you need to register your “complaint”, the right thing to do is just walk away and forget about it. Unless you wanna get hauled in like this guy. Class dismissed.

STARK COUNTY, OH – If you’re a victim of a crime in Ohio, you gotta make sure that when the cops show up, you don’t let them get it into their heads that you might be the perpetrator. Because if that happens, it’s a one way ticket to a party in a cell with a bunch of officers that’s gonna leave you buck naked and screaming, Abu Ghraib style. No, really.

Look, like I said a few days ago, when the Republicans come to town, it’s tough titty for the “civil rights” people.

A police state isn’t that hard to live under. There’s too much fuss over what’s going on in Minneapolis at the RNC convention, and I bet it’s merely because people don’t know what a police state looks like or how it works. It works like this: don’t call yourself a journalist and wave around your credentials when the officers come to remove you from the area.

Any questions?

MINNEAPOLIS / ST. PAUL, MN – In the days before the Republican National Convention, St. Paul’s police officers have laid down the law by harassing journalists, performing illegal searches, confiscating video and photographic equipment and sending a message about what won’t be tolerated on the streets during the convention.

It’s like I’ve been sayin’ the whole time: we watch you, you don’t watch us.

But the most egregious example of pre-RNC police abuses occurred Tuesday morning in Minneapolis’ Northeast neighborhood.

Three independent journalists from New York City were detained near a bus stop at 27th and Washington St. NE and their reporter’s notes, cameras and computers confiscated. The Minneapolis Police Department initially told the trio that they were stopped because police were investigating several car break-ins in the area. By the end of the detention, the police said “homeland security” concerns and trespassing in a rail yard were the reason they were stopped.

Vlad Teichberg, Olivia Katz and Anita Braithwaite are from the New York-based Glass Bead Collective. They traveled to the Twin Cities to attend the convention and document interactions between protesters and police.

…

“This is absolutely outrageous behavior by the Police Department towards individuals who are engaged in protected First Amendment activity and have a record of exposing police misconduct,” said Nestor.

The Glass Bead Collective’s video has been used in court to demonstrate police actions at protests.

Do these incidents raise the possibility that authorities are using the RNC as an excuse to overstep constitutional rights?

“Arrogance doesn’t need an excuse,” said St. Paul attorney Ted Dooley. “These types of incidents happen frequently. The difference now is that people are watching them, witnessing and giving testimony.”

Dooley also said that these actions aren’t about intimidation. “It’s a straight out challenge. It’s not really a coincidence that they went after someone who had a history of exposing just this kind of behavior by the police,” he said. “It just seemed a little bit planned.”

Officer Bob and Officer Tom work the oldest trick in the policeman’s handbook.

 Officer Bob Episode #9 - Good Cop, Bad Cop [1:42m]: Download (965)

ELKHART, IN – Indiana police officers recently toughed out a sustained assault on their working environment when a depraved motorist presented herself for…processing…at the station. Officers can be seen on the video collecting photographic evidence and otherwise maintaining the strictest professional standards. Whatever you do, don’t take a close look at the computer desktop wallpaper visible on the officer’s monitor. It wouldn’t be right to rubberneck on a photographic investigation in progress.

BROWARD COUNTY, FLORIDA – Hoo boy: Broward’s finest is a crew that sure knows how to handle malcontents. Take Elizabeth Ritter, one of these uppity book-learned troublemakers with a law degree. She attracted the gunfire of officers during a protest a few years ago. Why? Well, for one thing the crazy woman had escaped whatever kitchen she should have been attending to and was loose on the street waving her cardboard sign threateningly within twenty yards of the officers. The cops shot her with rubber bullets twice. Their Sergeant, Michael Kallman had a good chuckle at the incident, (captured on a video they shot themselves), referring at 2:08 to the protestors as “scurrying cockroaches”. Excessive force lawsuit or not, you gotta admit, it’s fun to be a cop.