Officer Bob

LOS ANGELES - Okay, if you look at the news story and the video in it, maybe it might look bad for the boys in blue. Maybe they planted drugs on the suspect’s property. Maybe they got caught on videotape doing it. Maybe the department’s Internal Affairs guys came back later and pressured the guy’s wife to claim the drugs were hers. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But what about the rights of the cops? They never asked to be on videotape! Besides, look at the guy they framed up, - I mean, arrested. You tellin’ me he doesn’t look like a criminal? Please.

CHICAGO - I’ve been saying it for years: guys in uniform usually have what it takes to fight crime.  They got the badge, they got the gun, they’ve got the weeks of training, and they’re comfortable around crime.   But the one thing that really handcuffs cops and keeps them from doing their jobs, the source of all our problems is the media.

Dat’s right: da uppity media is to blame whenever a cop doesn’t do his job.   Especially at blame are those goddamn websites who are always showing video of drunk Chicago cop heroes beating the living crap out of 95-pound female bartenders -  like this:

Or video of another valiant boy in blue suppressing a mad dog criminal in a wheelchair:

Da Mayor agrees that the media is to blame.  The cameras, they’re the problem, not the cops caught on tape. Not the beatings, not the coverups, not the cops.  The media is to blame.  The choice is real simple here: either you let the cops do whatever they want and never point a camera at em, or it’s gonna be criminal anarchy inna streets.

You got a problem widdat?

Daley blamed a news media that couldn’t get enough of the infamous videotape of now-fired officer Anthony Abbatte pummeling a diminutive female bartender.

“Remember how long you kept beating the police? That affects them. They’re human beings. They can’t take it. I’m the mayor. You can beat me up every day. That’s your job. [But] when you start beating police officers…because none of you have been in uniform, none of you have been out at 2 a.m. to stop a car, go into a home or an apartment when you see someone pointing a gun at you,” that has an effect, Daley said.

“This is a very difficult, challenging job and they’re always afraid of beefs because, once they get a beef, you write about it. [You say], ‘He has 25 C.R. numbers [complaints registered], all unfounded.’ You say, ‘Why? This fella must be a problem’. And you find out most of them are gangbangers and dope dealers [who] filed charges. And they didn’t show up in court or adminstrative hearings. [Yet] you write about it….You beat em up pretty good. Now, you want to be their friend.”

Fraternal Order of Police President Mark Donahue agreed that the media shares responsibility for the phenomenon Police Committee Chairman Isaac Carothers (29th) has called “de-policing.” But so do the brass and the politicians.

“Officers feel that the city and the department don’t have their best interests when it comes to responding to negative public perception. They’re too quick to react to public perception — even if it’s wrong,” Donahue said.

“The City Council has an effort going on right now to release the names of 662 officers who have allegations of misconduct against them. That’s not how you convince people you have their back.”

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This site is a satire about police corruption and our willingness to put
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