Officer Bob

Coming soon to a TV screen near you: “Cop Bar”.   I found dis trailer starring Sporanos actor Dan “Patsy Parisi” Grimaldi for a show that’s billed as a “cross between Barney Miller and Cheers”.  They’re casting in Chicago for it right now.

I just don’t know if dey repeat the name of the show enough inna trailer or the song.  Or on the girls’ asses.

“COP BAR” video by Jimmy Lloyd from jimmylloydsuperstar1 on Vimeo

LONGMONT, COLORADO - One Andrew Libby was picked up by the Logmont cops for allegedly impersonating a police detective with a fake badge. So what was his master plan? Was he gonna impress the ladies? Go to bars and push people around? Shake down local vendors for coffee and danish?

Not exactly.

Police on Tuesday searched the home of a local sword and blade maker suspected of impersonating a police detective and demanding pornographic videos at a local adult novelty store last month.

Police believe 33-year-old Andrew Libby used a fake badge to try to get the clerks to give him the X-rated DVDs. Officers arrested him Tuesday morning without incident outside of his home at 1045 Pratt St. in Longmont on suspicion of two counts of impersonating a police officer, child neglect, possession of a weapon by a previous offender, possession of an illegal weapon, possession of less than one ounce of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Porn. At a store. Somebody oughta explain to Mr. Libby what a cable modem is.

STATEN ISLAND, NY:  A fake police-training school was busted this week.  An ex-cop and his partner ran the school and did pretty well with it if you believe the story.

A Staten Island man was busted Tuesday morning for allegedly running a fake federal law enforcement training school out of his house — and distributing some 3,000 fake badges to his students.

Police say 49-year-old Robert, or “Roberto,” Neves was charged in federal court with distribution of law enforcement federal-style badges and identification.

A co-conspirator, Ralph Rios, was reportedly also arrested in Miami.

Police say Neves is charged with running the “U.S. Recovery Bureau” school, which offered three-day courses in Passaic, Brooklyn and Washington Heights.

After the training, students were given phony police badges, adorned with a United States seal.

He allegedly distributed more than 3,000 badges to his students, who were charged $860 for the course. But the students were never given background checks.

Neves was a police officer in the mid-1990s, but was fired for filing false police reports,

Lemme see, dat’s around $2.5 million paid by thousands of guys who want to get out there and push people around wit’ no authority to do so.   Somethin’ don’t add up.

What I don’t believe is that none of those 3,000 came back to the “US Recovery Bureau” school to shake down their trainers a little bit.  I mean, c’mon - even a fake cop has got to figure out what’s up every now and then.

Oh sure, nobody likes the police.  But there’s always somebody looking to be the police, even when they don’t have no badge, no paycheck, and no right to be knocking down doors.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s guys who pretend to be cops.  There’s a fine line between being a runaway cop and being a runaway fake cop.  This guy in a little town called Gerald, Missouri who called himself “Sergeant Bill”  was no real cop.

Sure, he had the attitude, and he liked to shove people around.  And he was so good at it, he even convinced the local real cops that he was legit.  The mayor, too.

When it turned out he was just a convicted sex offender from the town down the road, three real officers lost their jobs.

The people this guy busted protested when he came into thier homes, talkin about a search warrant.  This guy, he cracks me up, he says “I don’t need no search warrant, I’m a federal agent”

Oh man, I gotta remember that one.

GERALD, Mo. - Like so many rural communities in the country’s middle, this small town had wrestled for years with the woes of methamphetamine. Then, several months ago, a federal agent showed up.

Arrests began. Houses were ransacked. People, in handcuffs on their front lawns, named names. To some, like Mayor Otis Schulte, who considers the county around Gerald, population 1,171, “a meth capital of the United States,” the drug scourge seemed to be fading at last.

Those whose homes were searched, though, grumbled about a peculiar change in what they understood — mainly from television — to be the law.

They said the agent, a man some had come to know as “Sergeant Bill,” boasted that he did not need search warrants to enter their homes because he worked for the federal government.

But after a reporter for the local weekly newspaper made a few calls about that claim, Gerald’s anti-drug campaign abruptly fell apart after less than five months. Sergeant Bill, it turned out, was no federal agent, but Bill A. Jakob, an unemployed former trucking company owner, a former security guard, a former wedding minister and a former small-town cop from 23 miles down the road.

Jakob, 36, is the subject of a criminal investigation by federal authorities, and he is likely to face charges related to impersonating a law-enforcement officer, his lawyer said.